


Questions

by EZRASHUSBAND



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars: Rebels
Genre: Coming Out, Father-Son Relationship, First Crush, Gay Character, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-10
Updated: 2021-03-10
Packaged: 2021-03-17 09:06:11
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,396
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29964060
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EZRASHUSBAND/pseuds/EZRASHUSBAND
Summary: Ezra starts to explore who he likes when he goes to the imperial academy but it’s definitely not gonna be easy.
Relationships: Ezra Bridger & Kanan Jarrus, Ezra Bridger/Jai Kell, Ezra Bridger/Tristan Wren
Kudos: 8





	Questions

**Author's Note:**

> i know i tagged trizra even though tristan barely appears and they are just in the background anyways hope u enjoy it!!

Life on the streets was very different from life on the ghost. Ezra really only had one objective when he was homeless: to survive. But life on the ghost was very different. Ezra had time to focus on small things like a teenage boy would, annoying his siblings, playing games and having crushes. The thing is… he hasn’t had a crush on anyone yet.

Ezra had just been assigned a mission to go undercover as an imperial cadet so he really did not have time to think about this, so he put on his cadet outfit and grabbed his identification and walked into the imperial dome of Lothal. Kanan took the phantom and dropped Ezra a couple blocks away from the imperial dome on Lothal so Kanan would not be noticed.  
“Be safe kid, make sure you got everything!”  
Ezra checked his bag and made sure he had his comlink and everything else he needed. “Got everything!”   
Kanan took off in the phantom in a hurry so he wouldn’t be noticed by imperials.

After Ezra got his identification checked and he settled into his quarters for the next week, he heard a rapping at the door.  
“Come in!” Ezra exclaimed. Ezra nearly exclaimed when he saw the boy who was knocking at his door, he had never felt this before, it was a new feeling , a weird feeling. Was this his first crush?

“Hey roomie” Jai said in a slick tone. That nearly shook ezra to the core. This boy was so pretty and so slick Ezra almost melted, but Ezra didn’t realize this till days after they met.  
“H-Heyy” Ezra said in a nervous tone with his hands over his head trying to act cool and calm.  
“I just came in here to drop my stuff in, I have to go do some stuff before I settle in.” Jai said while putting his duffel bag on his bed.   
“O-Okay” Ezra blurted out while trying not to blush. Jai left the room and Ezra fell straight on his bed. What had just happened?

Ezra really did not have time to process what he just happened because the cadets were going on a tour in five minutes. So Ezra just got himself ready and went to the mess hall. The person who was leading the whole thing was boring Ezra out so he just zoned off and started to look at the posters on the dull grey walls. When he looked closer at the posters, some of the messages were very homophobic and anti-gay. Of course at this time Ezra did not know he was gay so he was just confused about why they would say those things, on the other hand it’s the empire, what would you expect for them. On his way back to his quarters, Ezra found a “illegal” magazine about being gay, he was intrigued by why it had a stamp on it that said it was illegal so he hid it and took it. 

A couple hours pass by and Jai is finally asleep, so Ezra takes the magazine and starts reading it. Ezra starts reading about things like coming out and gay awakenings which he is visibly confused by. While reading this Ezra just is confused by the fact the people will hate a group of people for no reason. Ezra stumbles onto a line about gay awakening and attraction.   
“Your gay awakening is when you find a person attractive and you realize it’s not the sex that is “normal” to society and you get very stumbled when you see that person.” Ezra’s lips start to tremble, his eyes start to tear up and his hands start to shake. He thinks “am I gay, would I be weird for liking men, what’s wrong with me?” and on that thought, a sob breaks out and Ezra starts to sob into his pillow.

Ezra wakes up before any of the boys in his quarters with his pillow soaking wet of tears and his eyes welled up due to crying so much. Ezra made a decision subconsciously just to fight through the pain and put on a smile and get through how many weeks he has to spend at the imperial academy. Over the weeks, Ezra just tries to be friends with Jai to cover up all the questions and pain about his sexuality.

Flash forward to early into the third week at the imperial academy, Ezra is walking back from training after he stopped at the mess hall to get something to eat and he doesn’t enter his quarters because he sees a couple of random cadets talking (he left Jai and Zare in the mess hall because he wanted to spend some time alone.) He peers in on them having a conversation.  
“You’re straight right?”  
“Of course, I’m not one of those weird alphabet people.”  
“They are so kriffing weird like why can’t they just be normal and be straight?”  
Ezra feels a tear dropping down his chin. It’s the first time he thought about this in weeks. Another tear falls down, Ezra’s lips start to tremble, his hands start to shake. Ezra starts running towards the fresher, crying while running. He slams the door shuts and puts his back against the wall and his hands against his face. He starts to violently sob and he cries out “WHY CAN’T I JUST BE NORMAL?” He sobs harder, and harder. All Ezra wants in life is to be loved.

It’s been months since Ezra was last in the imperial academy. Now they have a established rebellion and Ezra doesn’t have time for crushes anymore, but it’s still on his mind, the pain, the loneliness of his time at the imperial academy,  
having to hide the fact that he likes guys through his “crush” with Sabine eats him up and it’s tiring. Ezra is afraid that if he tells the ghost crew, they will kick him off because he is gay, he is afraid of losing his new family, all over what people he likes. He sobs about it almost every night and it hurts, it hurts so damn much. 

Ezra wakes up in the middle of the night after a particular intense crying session and hears something from Kanan’s room and decides to go in. He walks into Kanan sleeping and then abruptly waking up to the light from him opening the door.  
“You mind closing that light?” Kanan says in a groggy voice.  
“Ye-Yeah sorry, Kanan.” Ezra says in a sad tone.  
“Something bugging you, kid? You got up randomly in the middle of the night.”  
“Uh- a bit, maybe.” Ezra nervously spits out his words.  
“Spill.” Kanan says in a intrigued tone.  
“I’m gay. I like men.” Ezra stumbles to say while tearing up and wiping the tears off his cheeks.  
“Kid, you know I’m gonna love you and support you no matter who you like, you will always be my son and you being gay won’t change nothing-nada-zero.” Ezra breaks out in tears and he violently hugs Kanan while Ezra whispers “Thanks Dad.” Kanan softly pats Ezra’s back and says  
“Your welcome buddy, I love you.” That just makes Ezra want to cry more. Ezra continues to sob in Kanan’s embrace.

Kanan pats down a seat on his bed and tells him  
“Buddy, I like men too.”  
“R-Really??” Ezra says in a shaky voice while wiping his tears from his face.  
“Yeah.”  
This makes Ezra want to cry more so he hugs Kanan and starts to cry again. Even years later, Ezra is comforted by the fact. He silently sobs in Kanan’s arms.

A couple years pass by and Ezra has come out to the whole crew, that night with Kanan was one of his most treasured memories of Kanan. Right now, Kanan, Ezra and Sabine are on a mission to get rid of the Duchess with Clan Wren. Kanan and Sabine are suspecting something up though.  
“Hey, Sabine.” Kanan pats Sabine on the back and she turns around.  
“Yeah?”  
“Do you think Ezra has a crush on Tristan?”  
“Definitely, that’s how he got when he was pretending to have a crush on me.”  
“You should have seen him when he first met him, he was shaking like a leaf.”  
“I wish I was there to see that mess.” Sabine and Kanan share a chuckle and go convene with Ezra.


End file.
